Check out part 1 here.
Well I’m back with some more pot shots at well-meaning TV shows. See if you agree with what I’m saying. Is there any hope for broadcast TV this year? I guess we’ll find out together.
CW
Magic with the Stars
The basics: Dancing with the Stars but with rabbits
A celebrity competition show. How novel! This time they are doing magic tricks and will be judged by prominent mindfreak Criss Angel. If you like the other celebrity competition shows, you’ll like this, I guess.
Gotham Knights
The basics: Already been canceled
This DC Universe show was, predictably, killed off at the same time that Discovery’s top dog killed most of the rest of the DC properties scheduled for this year. Would it have been any good? We’ll never know.
Walker Independence
The basics: Surprisingly not about Will & Grace’s Karen.
Well, Tombstone got a prequel and so I guess the folks at the CW thought this would fly. It’s a prequel to Walker, Texas Ranger, which you might (or might not) remember. I’m not quite sure who in the Paramount organization thinks that westerns are primed for a comeback, but let me be clear: they’re not.
FOX
Accused
The basics: Law and Order in reverse
This show stars L&O alum Jill Hennessey. It also stars familiar faces like Michael Chiklis, Malcolm Jamal-Warner and surprisingly, Whitney Cummings (known for comedy, not for drama.) Apparently what sets it apart is that you start by seeing the court stuff, THEN you see the backstory. Pretty flimsy but who knows. It’s a midseason show, so you won’t see it this year unless something else really tanks.
Alert
The basics: It’s like another CSI show except, they already made one for Los Angeles so….
Little is known about this show other than it seems to be yet another in the endless string of police procedurals. This time they’re going to pretend it’s about the Missing Persons Unit, although you know they all act like detectives anyway.
Food Stars
The basics: Gordon Ramsey, for f*** sake
Do you even need to read anything else? Either you like the foul-mouthed Brit or you don’t. In this one he basically does Restaurant Impossible but with more profanity probably.
Grimsburg
The basics: A Fox animation show with Jon Hamm
There’s something very comforting about Fox’s never ending slate of animated shows. This one might stick, or it might not. Very little is known about what it will really be yet, but since it’s not scheduled until midseason, there’s time to find out.
Krapopolis
The basics: Hannah Waddingham really is a goddess
Another one from the Fox animation mill, this time it’s about a mixed bag of gods and humans who populate one of the world’s first cities. I am positive there will be hilarity and we may actually find out how centaurs go to the bathroom.
Monarch
The basics: Is it Empire for southerners? Kinda yes.
Trace Adkins stars with Susan Sarandon in a nighttime soap about a country music family. It’s a pass for me, but it does seem like broadcast TV is bound and determined to make sure that country music is “a thing.”
What will be the surprise hit?
One of these shows will probably succeed. Which will it be? I have no idea. It probably won’t be the few that I watch. But hey, hope springs eternal. Leave a comment below with your ideas.
